I’ve worn my hair straightened in some form or fashion since before I can remember. When I was ten, I got my first relaxer. Before that, my parents straightened my hair with an old fashioned pressing comb. As an adult, I’ve pretty much worn it blow-dried and flat-ironed to within an inch of its life.
Before Covid, I couldn’t tell you the last time I did my own hair. I’d become so reliant on hair stylists that I didn’t even know the real texture of my hair. I literally just never had to deal with it.
Oh, how things have changed.
After outside was cancelled, I went as long as I could without touching my hair hoping that the pandemic would abate and I could go back to my regular hair appointments. One week turned into two then three, then four. How long could I hold out? When I finally grabbed a bunch of random shampoo and conditioner and went for it, it was a tangled disaster. So much so that I had to cut out large chunks with scissors. Seriously. It was bad.
Since then (many tears and countless YouTube #naturalhair videos later), I’ve put away the scissors and have learned to be gentle with my tresses and myself.
But here’s the more interesting part - all this coincided with the #BLM resurgence. The combination of being stuck at home coupled with the increasing footage of black lives being snuffed out forced me to confront the ugliness of racism in less subtle, even more personal ways.
Of course I’ve faced racism. I’m a black woman. It would be impossible for me not to. However, it’s rarely blatant. Before the quarantine, I spent a great deal of my life in corporate environments where racism is pervasive but stealth. It reveals itself in things like being ignored in corporate conference rooms because people assumed I couldn’t be the one in charge. Or assuming that my role was in HR rather than marketing. Or odd compliments like “you’re so articulate, you write so well...” as if somehow I shouldn’t. Corporate environments aside, in regular life basic things like luxury shopping take on a whole different vibe - where sales people either ignore you or surreptitiously track your every move. Honestly, I’m not sure which is worse.
But what's this got to do with my hair? A lot.
Everyone handles racism differently. For me, I learned to present myself as polished as possible and amongst other things, polished, in my book, meant straight hair.
It made me feel more professional. It made me feel a little less “other”. And if I’m completely honest, it made me feel more attractive. Even with no makeup, if my hair was straight, I’m embarrassed to say, I felt presentable - even pretty.
Malcom X asked, “who taught you to hate yourself?”
That’s what I’ve been asking myself lately. It’s one thing to use my hair as a form of self expression. I can wear it how ever I want. It’s my hair. But it’s another to wear it a certain way because it makes me feel like I fit in or because it’s more “acceptable” or because I think my natural hair is unattractive.
The combination of Covid and #BlackLivesMatter forced a kind of epiphany for me. What is wrong with the natural texture of my hair? Why was it so important that it be straight?
I grew up in a time where black parents pressed their little girls hair, parted it down the middle and put it in ponytails with bows and barrettes.
Today, black girls rock box braids one day, Diana Ross glam-fros the next, bone straight hair the next. They go with the flow. They go with their mood. I admire their sense of self and freedom of expression.
It wasn’t like that when I was growing up. Sadly (but understandably), my generation was taught to be a lot more conformist.
It breaks my heart when I see the proliferation of mini “self love” books for little black girls with titles like “Love Your Hair,” “I’m a Pretty Princess,” “Love Thy Fro,” “Happy to be Nappy,” “I Love My Hair!” “My Hair,” “Hair Like Mine,” “Hair Love”. Something is really wrong with this picture. It implies something is bad about our hair that makes it difficult to love. Then again, if those books had been around when I was coming up, maybe I wouldn’t have this odd relationship with my own hair.
Who knows? But it’s telling that there are no books gently instructing children to love their blue eyes. Who has to tell Emily to love her blond hair?
Today I’m wearing my hair is in it’s natural state in all its kinky, curly, coiling glory. I’d say I was rocking’ it but to be honest, I’m not quite there yet. As they say in the natural hair community, it’s a journey.
This is where I am. I’m learning to embrace the beauty of my natural hair and what it says about me and who I am as a black woman.
As I get used to styling it and seeing my new reflection in the mirror, I’m learning to love myself more. It’s awkward and challenging but long, long overdue.
I’ll share more on my IG (@savvyclickchick) as I move forward. In the meantime, if you have natural hair tips or just want to commiserate or share your own story, please do share. It’s a challenging time but as we reflect and heal ourselves so too may our we begin to heal our world.
Your comment was posted successfully! Thank you!
NEED ESSAY WRITING ?
Save your time and get your essay written by a professional writer.
We can cover any topic on any subject in the blink of an eye.
Conservative essays rjdzn.
Order NOW!!! ==> https://essaypro.co
]
Sample thesis in guidance and counselling
Best dissertation results writers site for school
Esl creative essay ghostwriter website for university
Persuasive essays on why abortion should be illegal
One flew over cuckoos nest essay
University essay editor sites us
Frederick jackson turner’s frontier thesis asserted that the frontier
persuasive essay ghostwriter for hire xisbv[/url] arbeitsplan vhobc[/url] essays cmzad[/url] to write a business trip report example webzh[/url] e431adcQuint careers cover letter examples
Make my paper mla format
Cheap dissertation abstract editor sites gb
Thesis ghostwriters site usa
Essays ordinary people family
HGtYUPlKMnGFW
candidate masters degree resume jbllg[/url] problem create a risk matrix lmuzd[/url] masters admission paper ideas dibth[/url] essays writing websites online tclru[/url] letter example whirlpool dbrdm[/url][b]Conservative essays rjdzn[/b]
[url=https://essaypro.me]essaypro[/url]
Book review ks2
How to write a record in pl sql
Audison thesis th 1 5 violino
algebra 2 help editapaper.com
essays rjdzn[/b] my nursing research proposal pshrb[/url] resume certifications gyufk[/url] to get custom best essay on presidential elections vlfir[/url] me popular bibliography online kjmfc[/url]]
https://maps.google.com.co/url?q=https://essaypro.co
https://images.google.ru/url?q=https://studybay.ws
https://www.couponxoo.com/httpsessayproco-coupon
Masters degree physical education example of thesis
Best places to post a resume
Economic history dissertations
[url=http://bpx.by/sostavlenie-smet-smetyi-na-stroitelstvo-proektnyie-smetyi.html]заказать смету на ремонт квартиры[/url]
[url=http://obsledovanie.www.by/stroitelnaya-ekspertiza]экспертиза качества строительных работ[/url]
http://www.panoirpedia.com/User:KristiDisney
https://www.ayuren.com/home.php?mod=space&uid=32203&do=profile&from=space
Free essay on capital punishment in india
Write a business plans
Sample first resume no job experience
http://balisurfexpress.com/background-slider/tommy-schultz_com-172/#comment-27152
https://www.interstatehdu.com/blogs/news/new-menu-item?comment=87028629654#comments
https://prologic.su/topic/14691-ut-austin-essay-tips-eqcoa/page__gopid__64543#entry64543
Conservative essays rjdzn
book review writer for hire online eacra[/url] to write om symbol in word sytsr[/url] rhetorical analysis essay ghostwriter for hire for phd tkteu[/url] dissertation introduction editor for hire for college wwqgb[/url] essays rjdzn[/b] my top phd essay on lincoln rxibr[/url] homework writers services us zuczs[/url] to write a coroners report zxnom[/url] free resume cmdbe[/url] bay[/url]https://ericadlermd.com/?cf_er=_cf_process_5fc01d8aac50e
https://prisaoinvisivel.com.br/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=539298&p=673906#p673906
https://axislabs.com/blogs/athletic-majority/quick-tips-for-beginner-bodybuilders?comment=82429018190#comments
Popular cover letter proofreading for hire usa
essays rjdzn[/b] thesis topics doc rwvlv[/url] as well as brawn essay dtchz[/url] vs reality essay topics gvymw[/url] dissertation introduction proofreading for hire jlvpn[/url] of notecards for a research paper[/url] for delivery[/url]Conservative essay right short
Business to business marketing research papers
https://twitter.com/wayofwater4d
https://datastudio.google.com/s/g1Ixk14zIeI
https://datastudio.google.com/s/lSYTa52o75I
https://datastudio.google.com/s/mOe0XtHLYGc
https://datastudio.google.com/s/lhDs2OTNmsE
https://reallygoodemails.com/violentnightlive
https://reallygoodemails.com/violentnightmoviebiz
https://reallygoodemails.com/violentnightfilmebiz
https://reallygoodemails.com/violentnighteu
https://reallygoodemails.com/violentnightonlineeu
https://reallygoodemails.com/violentnightmoviesbiz
https://reallygoodemails.com/violentnightmovieapp
https://reallygoodemails.com/blackpantherwakandaforeverlive
https://reallygoodemails.com/blackpanther2wakandaforeverlive
https://reallygoodemails.com/blackpantherwakandaforeverapp
https://reallygoodemails.com/blackpanther2wakandaforevereu
https://reallygoodemails.com/blackpanther2wakandaforeversocial
https://reallygoodemails.com/wakandaforeverfullmovie1080p
https://reallygoodemails.com/blackpanther2sofia
https://reallygoodemails.com/strangeworldfullmovieart
https://reallygoodemails.com/strangeworldfullmoviebiz
https://reallygoodemails.com/strangewordmovieapp
https://reallygoodemails.com/strangeworldmovieonlineeu
https://reallygoodemails.com/strangeworldanimationmovie
https://reallygoodemails.com/strangeworld1080p
https://reallygoodemails.com/strangeworld3d
https://reallygoodemails.com/dreamsofdarkness
https://reallygoodemails.com/dreamsofdarknessfullmovieonline
https://reallygoodemails.com/dreamsofdarknessmovieonline
https://reallygoodemails.com/dreamsofdarknesswatchonline
https://reallygoodemails.com/dreamsofdarknesswatchathome
https://reallygoodemails.com/dreamsofdarkness1080p
https://reallygoodemails.com/dreamsofdarknessmovie3d
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264616
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263948
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265359
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265364
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264636
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263958
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263963
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265369
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264641
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265374
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264616
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266635
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266640
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266645
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263852
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265389
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263968
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264646
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265404
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263857
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263862
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263867
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263872
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263983
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263877
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265414
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266665
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266675
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266690
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265439
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265444
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263892
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265449
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263897
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264681
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265459
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264023
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264028
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266705
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264696
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266710
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264033
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265479
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265484
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264711
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264048
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264726
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264731
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263922
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263927
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264058
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265504
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266755
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264063
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264736
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266765
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265509
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263932
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266770
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264068
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264741
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266775
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263937
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266780
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265519
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265524
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264073
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263942
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263947
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266785
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264078
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264616
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263948
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265359
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265364
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264636
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263958
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263963
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265369
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264641
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265374
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264616
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266635
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266640
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266645
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263852
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265389
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263968
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264646
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265404
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263857
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263862
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263867
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263872
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263983
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263877
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265414
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266665
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266675
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266690
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265439
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265444
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263892
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265449
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263897
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264681
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265459
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264023
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264028
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266705
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264696
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266710
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264033
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265479
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265484
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264711
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264048
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264726
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264731
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263922
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263927
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264058
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265504
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266755
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264063
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264736
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266765
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265509
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263932
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266770
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264068
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264741
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266775
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263937
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266780
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265519
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/265524
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264073
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263942
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/263947
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/266785
https://new.c.mi.com/ph/post/264078